| BACK to Main Humor Page |

The year is 2008. Bill Gates, having gone unchecked in the year 1998, now controls North America. The land is happy (because he says so) and everyone is productive and innovative (as long as they do it his way).
~^~^~^^~^~^~^~^~^~Time Line~^~^~^^~^~^~^~^~^~
Good Luck To US All
1998: Department of Justice loses an Anti Trust suit against Bill Gates and Microsoft.
1999: Microsoft takes control of 60 percent of the internet. 98 percent of the Computer Operating Systems are made by Microsoft.
2001: Microsoft controls 98 percent of the internet. 99.99 of the Computer Operating Systems are made by made by Microsoft, and the only Web Browser still in production is Internet Explorer.
2003: The last U.S. Military Command and Control computer system is run by Windows NT 7.
2004: The computer virus built into all MS products, code named Blue Screen, enables it's self. This virus gave orders and falsified warrants to the Washington D.C. police, The U.S. Senate, the House of Representatives, and 49 State Governors who happen to be meeting in D.C. at the time are taken into custody. A new unmanned fighter plane is directed to deliver 2 smart bombs on the White House killing the President and his cabinet, along with the first family. Mr. Gates announces that he will now run the country, that he will be referred to as Mr. Gates or King Bill. And that Windows 2002 is the best Windows yet, disagree and you will be put on trial and shot.
2005: A Law stating that all households will own a computer, a PC running Windows is signed by King Bill. Violation of this law is a capital crime.
2006: In a major Sting operation, using Super Models as undercover agents, 5,953 Anti Microsoft Hackers are captured and put to death. The former programmers of Netscape organize elements of the old Macintosh team, and a few of the Hackers that were over looked by the Sting or were just too good to get caught. By the end of the year over 10,000 NT machines are crashed. And every computer in King Bills home is loaded with UNIX, complete with Netscape web browser.
2007: An old broken unused office networking machine dating back to 1988 is found in the basement of a major Hospital in Chicago. It still has UNIX loaded on the hard drive. 20 B1-B Bombers are called in for a air strike, the Hospital and the surrounding blocks are leveled.

March 18, 2008
Šassin News Network

MS Troop ŠNN report: Subversion in the Snow
Yesterday afternoon, Airborne troops assigned to the 3.11 division of the Army known as the Flying Windows surrounded the Wyoming residence a pair of subversives by the name of Mr. and Mrs. Shoebaker. This seventy eight year old couple were in possession of a Power Mac and were using Netscape to browse the Web. The operation resulted in the arrest of the perverse deviants and they were shipped to a reeducation camp.

Burning Disks ŠNN report: Disk in the Sand
Today in Operation: Desert Scan Disk, several tons of non-Microsoft software was burned. Brought in by truck from captured enemy strong holds. King Bill is quoted as saying "we shall not rest till this whole region is using Windows 2002. And if I end up with control of the worlds oil supply in the bargain. So much the better."

Disclaimer: For anyone that can't figure it out. This is a joke, look at the dates non of this has even happen yet. So like no one mentioned is real well except for King Bill but he isn't called that. If you're a Bill Gates Fan and your offended, hey he doesn't control the net yet I've still got free speech.

| BACK to Main Humor Page |